Chores for the Chicklets

I have a board on my Pinterest page labelled "Christian Parenting." I usually will pin things there and hope to read them later.....and we all know how "later" goes much of the time. Maybe it is just me? Anyway, I read one on "Kid's Chores." It is located HERE in case you would like to read it.....and it is great so I highly recommend it! I have always been confused about how to get my kids to do chores around the house not just for pay, but because they are members of our family. I also was confused on how MUCH to pay if we paid at all. We have tried out different techniques and paid Ellie but never paid the boys. I realize that one of my main issues as a mom is......


.........


CONSISTENCY!

So, I am making a pact, based upon the lovely life that is represented in this blog, to be consistent with making my kids do chores this week. I am responsible for that consistency, while they are responsible for being more than little minions in my home.

1. This week, I am going to clearly state their responsibilities......since we have had "chores" discussions before, they all know what they are required to do, but like I said, I have not been consistent in enforcing anything, OR paying them at the end of the week.

2. Not only am I going to state their responsibilities that will NOT be paid for, I will then talk about their extra chores that if they do until Saturday of next week, I WILL pay for. I like her rule of paying half the child's age, which is what I will introduce.

3. I am gathering them together to talk about attitudes in working "as unto the Lord." We will pray together at the beginning of this week and then there will be clear-cut expectations for what I expect.

I am hoping that this will lead to me being consistent in FOLLOWING weeks, not just this one: but I am only focusing on this one week here to not overwhelm anyone!

If you are interested in my kids chosen chores, here is what we have chosen:

Ellie: Age 10- will get paid $5 on Saturday. Regular responsibilities include: practicing the piano, putting her clothes in the laundry, cleaning up after herself for breakfast, and doing homework

Extra chores: Keeping the main bathroom clean including clutter, toilets and mirrors, cleaning her room top to bottom on Wednesdays and helping set the table for dinner

Extra EXTRA chores: (gets paid extra to earn money for things like "camp" etc.)- Cleaning up poop from the backyard and filling bags of leaves from the front and back yard (we have as many trees as we had in Ohio. Not kidding!)

Tyler: age 6- will get paid $3 on Saturday  Regular responsibilities include: doing homework, getting backpack ready for school, laying out clothes for the next day the night before, cleaning up after himself for breakfast and feeding the dogs

Extra chores: Unloading the dishwasher every day and cleaning his room top to bottom one time per week

Trenton: age 4: Will be paid $2 on Saturday  Regular responsibilities include: cleaning up after himself for breakfast, feeding the dogs, putting trash in the trashcans (working hard on this one!), working with brother to clean room one time per week

Extra chores: Help Mommy pack school lunches and wipe the table off with a rag after dinner.

I am curious to know: how do you handle chores in YOUR family?

Reaping Unexpected Rewards

If you are a mother, you know that being a mother is one of the most rewarding experiences in life. There are beautiful moments that capture the dreams that you had as a little girl. There are moments of pure bliss and laughter....glimpses of heaven on earth.

But, let's be honest here. Many days are long.....sometimes hard....sometimes gross......sometimes mundane. At times, those mundane, seemingly never-ending days seem to come up more often than the days that are filled with creative, loving memories that will fill your later years with  joy in the remembering. It is far to easy to get bogged down in the cleaning of the tid- bits off the floor for the umpteenth time.....vacuuming up pet hair from the sofa or carpet......or making eggs for dinner because once again, there is no food in the frig.....or yelling at the kids (way too loudly and often, I might add) for squabbling amongst themselves when you had once dreamed of the little best friends that they would be to each other. That dream seemed to die the minute a younger sibling was plopped on the floor in the general vicinity of the older ones.

I do look for those jeweled moments during my day just to keep myself sane sometimes. Usually they occur in the darkness of the night, when the house is silent. Then the little cherubs sleep with their cheeks squished against their pillows and you smile, wondering how you could possibly love them more. I breathe in their sleeping scent and wish that it could be bottled. That's the scent of pure love right there.

But, during the day sometimes? I have to admit that an all-too-often tired mother, I feel like I can sometimes go an entire day without seeing a jewel of love. I sigh too much. I cringe too much. I yell too much. I roll my eyes too much. I yearn for night time too much so there can finally be some peace and quiet. I realize how selfish I am.....again. If you have never thought to yourself that you are the worst mother in the world at some point or another, I think you just MIGHT be abnormal.....even if we don't really believe that, we certainly feel that way sometimes.

So much teaching goes into these young years:

Teaching to obey
Teaching to respect other people
Teaching to love each other and others
Teaching to love God
Teaching to read
Teaching to be joyful
Teaching to apologize with humility
Teaching to forgive
Teaching to show mercy
Teaching to not tattle
Teaching to get along with difficult people
Teaching to be grateful
Teaching to have manners
Teaching to be content
Teaching to worship
Teaching to pray
Teaching to be gentlemen
Teaching to be ladies
Teaching to be healthy
Teaching to have a good self image
Teaching to be modest
Teaching to flush (and all those other fun bathroom rules)
Teaching moderation
Teaching the value of money
Teaching to be self-less
Teaching to have a servant's heart
Teaching consequences

Oh so many (way more than I listed)......this was just the last week or so in my house. So many teachable moments just seem to go in one ear and out the other. I feel like I repeat myself so often and nothing gets through.

But today. Today was such an amazing joy that I actually thought a thought that does not cross my mind very often:

I MUST BE DOING SOMETHING RIGHT.

I tell this simple story not to brag about what amazingly perfect kids that I have or what a great mom I am. I tell it because in the mundane of life we often forget that what we do and say DOES have an impact and that they will pick up more than we think they do. I tell this because sometimes you WILL get to reap unexpected rewards for your labors...and when you do it is simply a breath-taking and awe-inspiring moment that you will never forget as long as you live.

***

For 2 days I have had a terrible, terrible headache. My headaches originate in my sinuses and are likely due to me living in a very dry environment, with crazy desert blooms coming out every week or so. Sometimes these headaches are pretty debilitating, as was this one. I tossed and turned last night ALL. NIGHT. LONG. It made for a very difficult morning. I did not get out of my pj's until nearly noon. The kids were happy watching TV and honestly, with the headache that I had, the more TV for them the better for me. I am being honest here. Some days are like this.

In spite of this pain I was able to work on the never-ending task of laundry. I spent 2 hours folding laundry and all my piles were laid out in the living room. Before the very long task of putting everything away I asked the kids to please just go in the other room and play because I needed to close my eyes. I laid back in my chair and attempted a rest, just praying I would get SOME relief.

About 20 minutes later, I felt a little arm on my leg. It was my 10 year old. She had laid out some pillows on the ground, put some soft instrumental music on and told me that she had been researching massage for headaches with my 5 year old and they were ready to begin.

So, I obeyed and laid on the floor. Ellie started on my face, using pressure points that she had read about. Tyler took my feet and began rubbing them while my precious Trenton (3) took my arms and began lightly stroking them. Every once in a while Ellie would run back to the computer while she covered me up and told me to relax, while she looked for the next thing. She got my oils and began rubbing them in my temples, my neck and even had me breathe some of them. "Alright breathe in, really deeply. Now breathe out." The boys kept moving to different limbs and rubbed them nearly the entire time.

This went on for 20 minutes. I thought we were finished when Ellie then brought out a "healing drink" that she had found a recipe for. It included fresh squeezed lemon, water, a dash of sugar for taste and some of my oils. It was so delicious and hydrated me. It was then I found that my boys had put away many of my laundry piles so I would not have to.

At one point I opened my eyes while my children were pouring themselves into me. They sought to gain nothing but my comfort.....and tears came to my eyes. Their servant's hearts were shining through in the most beautiful way. This taught ME a lesson in serving.

Like the amazing scent of sleeping, angelic children, I would love to bottle this feeling of being cared for by the most precious souls on earth to me. I realized that my efforts have not been in vain. Life seems endless at times and mundane and even hard sometimes. But it is not. These babies are TRULY my gift. My soul was refreshed.

***

By the way......the headache COMPLETELY disappeared and has not returned. I am still shocked by this. I guess I have a new remedy and I can not wait to try it out again!

Pinteresting Summer 2014- UN-PLUGGED

As in the title of my blog: A Blessed Life- My life has been so blessed lately that I have not written a blog since February. That is OK with me.....I am busy having the time of my life with my chicklets. BUT, I did decide that with the beginning of summer 2014, I am going to do another "Pinteresting Summer" blog series. It keeps me on track and it is a wonderful record of all the great things that we are doing together! If you would like to plan a fantastic, fun-filled-memory-making summer, click HERE.

In an effort this year to be more "un-plugged" this summer, I came up with a method that 1. keeps the kids time limited on electronics 2. keeps them happy and 3. gets my house clean without (much) complaining!

*NOTE* In order to employ this method in favor of a more "un-plugged" and thus more creative and more memory-filled vacation, this requires some BRAVERY on mama's part.....but once you close your eyes and dive in, I promise that you will be glad you did :)

DONE. Let's Begin! 

1. Give your kids a time-limit per day that must be strictly adhered to. For us this is not just TV, but iphone, computer and kindle as well. We  did a 2 hour time-limit of electronic use per day. (Breathe, it will be fine!)

2. In order to earn another 30 minutes of time for that special show they want to see before bed....or that new game they wish to play at nickjr.com, they have to actually EARN it.

My kids have to earn a total of 50 points to get another 30 minutes tacked on to their time......and I have assigned points to a number of chores. They can choose 5 chores that are 10 points each, 2 chores that are 25 points each, or any combination of chores that will then equal 50 points (also helps with addition. Cha-ching!)

But, the stipulation is, that Mom has to approve the chore chosen, and then has to approve that the chore has been done to the best of the child's ability.

ie. The child can not wipe off the kitchen table for 10 points if I just got done doing that while cleaning the kitchen etc. 

I do not expect PERFECTION, but I do expect BEST EFFORT. Electronic time is a REWARD.....and you EARN REWARDS!

So, in case you want to employ this method of a more "UN-PLUGGED" summer, I am going to attach my chart here. Feel free to use this and change it to meet your family's needs this summer. 

For another way to involved kids in doing chores this summer, click HERE. Chores can be FUN, I promise! Capitalize on your kids wanting to help you and you will raise more responsible, happier, more well-balanced and less entitled children who can actually contribute to the running of your household. 

Summer 2014 Electronic Entertainment (ie. TV, Kindle, Ipod) Earning

You get 2 hours electronic time per day. In order to earn 30 minutes more, you must accumulate
50 points

10 point chores:

Dust 1 bookshelf with pledge

Clean 1 set of windows with windex

Clean 1 large mirror with windex

sweep stones from front patio

spray down patio table and wipe

spray down kitchen table and wipe

febreze furniture in whole house

15 point chores:

Clean 1 toilet with cleaner

make 1 bed

start 1 load laundry and dryer

vacuum 1 room

dust all frames

sweep kitchen floor

sweep laundry room floor

write a thank you note to someone and mail it

collect all laundry from house and put in laundry room

organize 1 section of your room

Collect 5 items to donate

20 point chores:

do the edges in 1 room

dog poop in yard

empty all garbage cans and take outside

sweep back patio

fingerprints- Mr. Clean magic eraser

collect all toys from house

25 point chores:

totally clean cat box

fold 1 load laundry

put away all dishes in dishwasher

Collect a bag of items to donate

Clean shower area with spray

clean your room for 15 minutes

clean room of your choice for 15 minutes

weed flower garden for 15 minutes

clean out refrigerator for 15 minutes

Mama, Teach Me to Pray!

Prayer.....talking to the King of all Kings, right from your bedroom, or your table, or your car, or wherever you are. I think that we often miss the simplicity of this act, or we simply get too busy with our lives to talk to the Creator of the Universe. Wow. He created me and cares so much for me that He died for me and I won't even spend my time talking with Him? I have often wondered why this is the case? Paul says to "pray without ceasing" but how do we really do that? I have found that it is easy for me to keep up a constant dialogue throughout the day with the Lord.....involving Him in my life (as if He really needs an invitation).



One thing that I have written about before, is teaching our children to pray. We have to literally spend time teaching them HOW to do this, along with giving them a good role model on prayer and spending time building our relationships with the Lord. Without that model, it will not become real to children.

I am finally at a time in my life with my kids where I am getting a full night's sleep. I no longer have diapers or wet sheets to change in the middle of the night, or cries for milk every few hours. There will be the occasional bad dream where I get some night-time snuggles, but for the most part I sleep a good 8-10 hours every night. I could not have said this a few years ago, but now it is actually FUN for me to wake up early and spend some time with the Lord. The only issue with this, is that without a doubt, the minute my feet hit the floor, my two boys immediately hear me....they have super-sonic hearing, apparently. So most mornings, I am able to make it out to the kitchen, turn on the coffee pot and then I am joined by two bleary-eyed little boys, with blankets wrapped around themselves.

I like to go out onto my back patio with my coffee, journal, Bible and sometimes a Bible study book and spend time with the Lord. Sometimes that is not a quiet moment, however. Those times will come (and truthfully, I am not looking forward to a quiet house. I am sure I will miss a bit of the chaos!). But, as much as I can, I like to read the Bible and spend time with my Creator in order to build our relationship, and to give me a grounding of my soul before the day begins. There are little Bibles out there with me....little ears always listening and little eyes always observing. I will catch glimpses of this in their play throughout the day. One little boy will open a Bible and say "I am spending time with Jesus now." Or, he will get a coffee mug and "drink" the coffee (sometimes he steals mine!) and say "I am going outside now."

Today was so special, though. I was sitting drinking my coffee and my 3 year old came to me and said "Mommy, teach me to pray. I don't know how to do it." Of course I put down my own Bible and coffee and seized that moment to be sure. With his little hands folded and his little head bowed he thanked Jesus for his family and all the things that he loves....and scampered off to make mischief, most likely!



What a lesson, however. God is our heavenly Father and He promises to be there when we need Him. All we need to say is "Daddy, teach me to pray." He will. He will lead us in our lives and guide our paths. We just need to let Him in. Allow Him to be a part of our everyday lives. He will. He yearns for us, His children.

Give them a Job!

Summer seems to be ALL about the kids having (way too much) FUN! Right? Wrong! Not always, that is.....I think it is so important to actually teach kids responsibility in the summer time when they are home all day, using up things, making bigger messes etc. I actually think this is something that should be taught year-round....but a good place to start is the summer time! There is an important lesson to be learned for kids that the parents (ie. especially the stay-at-home mom) is not their servant. Yes, cleaning and cooking etc. are part of my job description, but I think that part of the job description of ANY member of the family, is to help to learn to take responsibility for things, people, themselves etc.



We do LOTS of cleaning games in our home. I do not want to ever be accused of being a slave-driver with my kids. I think that that only leads to resentment.....so a way to teach them responsibility is to make cleaning and chores FUN! Believe me....you have to change up the routine ALL the time to keep kids interested in helping. We have lots of different ways that we do that in our family and I am going to show you just one today.....and talk about a few other ideas for getting kids involved. Believe me, even the smallest in your family can learn to help out. I think that WITHOUT teaching kids responsibility we are shirking a big responsibility ourselves as parents!

One thing that we do is a job jar. (I am really into jars, ie. the boredom buster jar, as you can tell....but the reason is that the kids respond so very well to it!). I listed out a bunch of different age-appropriate jobs and stuck them all in a jar. This is no easy task with a 9, 4, and 2 year old in the house.....some jobs are NOT appropriate for all ages but then you can just let them choose again, or they can keep that job and do it with assistance from mom. It is no big deal.

Remember a couple of things:

1. Your kids will WANT to help if you make it fun

2. Let go of the image that your house has to be perfect (haha). Stop yourself from going back over the streaked bathroom mirrors, or re-vacuuming the room because it is not as perfect as you would do. It is not about that. It is more about allowing your kids to get involved and take some ownership over your home.

3. Praise praise praise praise praise praise praise (x 1000). When your kids are doing something to help out, you will not BELIEVE the affect that praise has on them!

4. Change up the routine. Even if you do something fun like the job jar, if you do it every single day it will get boring for you (and the kiddos and you certainly do not want that!

Here's some pics of the kiddos today with their chosen jobs. El is changing and washing her sheets while Tyler (above) is vacuuming. (The vacuuming for my little 35 pound boy is something I have to overlook. It is NOT about the job well done, it is about the effort....and that little thing tried REALLY hard!)

Some other ideas that we routinely do to make cleaning fun:

1. The song game. Each kid gets to choose a CD, song and room to clean. During that song, all the members of the family clean that chosen room (more often than not it will be the chooser's own room but that is OK!). When the song is finished the next person gets to choose a CD, song and room. Lots gets done in a pretty short amount of time!

2. The time-limit game: You set a time limit (ie. 15 minutes) to clean 1 particular room with all the members of the family. When that time limit is done you set the timer again (ie. 10 minutes) to do something fun (ie. chalk on the sidewalk, play a short game, dance to wild and crazy music etc.).

3. Put away 3 game:  Each person in the family puts away 3 things from every single room (this will take about 20 or so minutes depending on the size of your house). After the whole house is done once you set the timer (ie. 20 more minutes) to do something fun.....without doing little breaks, kids get TIRED. I go through this game with the kids about 2 times all the way through.

4. Chore Chart:  Each child can have a chore chart that they are responsible for every single day. They can be easy things like "make your bed" and "brush your teeth." This instills responsibility. You can offer rewards such as allowance or just make this part of the daily routine!

5. The "I am so desperate to find something that I am offering to bribe you" game:  So, this is a little "tongue in cheek" but not as much as you think. I have done this a few times when we have lost my precious son's glasses (that cost upwards of $200), my keys, or my phone. When I offer the winner a small prize, you will be amazed at how much gets cleaned and how quickly lost items get found :) This is a desperate move, but hey, sometimes it is needed :)

Just some super-fun ideas. You can create so many fun ways to clean if you want to. What are some of YOUR favorite ways to clean with your kids?

...and just because precious Trenton gets left out of everything, let's just do a pic of him and the $200 glasses :)

Oops, they are missing. Let's bribe the olders to find them.

$5 is an awfully small price to pay to find these things :) Just keepin' it real, folks :)

Break out the Good China!

I love tea....and I love beautiful things. About 7 years ago I purchased my most beloved piece of furniture.....a beautiful distressed china cabinet. It matches my personality and my loves perfectly! I knew immediately what to fill it with as well: my TWO sets of china!

I never registered for china when I got married because there were so many other things we needed.....and we were going to be living in the smallest apartment known to man. I would not be doing much entertaining. I never thought I would own one set of china, let alone two!

A few years after I was married, I was visiting a very elderly woman in my dad's church. I casually mentioned that I loved her blue and white china. It matched the color palate of the quilt I had been working on for over a year. That lovely woman up and gave me the entire set of china. Now, of course, I tried to dissuade her. I did not mean I loved her china so I wanted to TAKE it from her....but I guess when you are in your 90's, things like china do not mean much anymore and she wanted to let them go to someone who would love them.

Around the same time, Greg and I were on a date to an antique store (still our favorite date!) and we ran across a beautiful set of antique china. It has a beautiful rose spray and was too beautiful to pass up. We ended up buying that for an AMAZINGLY good price....so here I sit with 2 sets of china.

Here are the typical rules for china:

1. You display it.
2. You use it on special occasions.
3. You be careful with it.
4. It is not every-day use because of the cost and value of the pieces
5. You use it to celebrate special people.

The more I thought about that, the more I realized I did not like those rules.....or I decided to adapt them to my own philosophy. I am finally a grown-up. I get to do that. Who knew?

So, if china is for special people, why does it typically just sit away? I decided a long time ago, that I am going to "break out" my special and gorgeous china for the most special people in my life....my family. I am going to let those blue fingers that break things all time....the ones with mud-caked fingernails and stuffy noses....the ones that pick up rocks and worms and this morning ate dog food.....I am going to let those little hands handle my special china because those are the people that mean the most to my heart. I am going to make my little boys realize how much I value them. I am going to teach my daughter how much I love her and want to celebrate her.

We are going to have impromptu tea parties. We are going to eat little cakes on beautiful plates....and put too much sugar in the cups. We are going to try out new tea and spend time together as we wait for the whistle of the kettle. We are going to build memories and I am not going to cringe when the teacup falls to the floor, knocks into a brother's head, or tea spills all over the carpet.

My children won't keep. The days that I will have tea parties alone, in the quiet with no risk of breakage are days I don't want to think of. I want to savor this moment. Today. I want my kids to know I value them more than I value glass. I want them to get in that china cabinet and bring me a tea cup and ask for a party....like they did this morning. I hope these days last in my heart forever!

Summer Schedule

IT'S SUMMER! (at least for us!) Thank you for all of your patience. I have not posted on this blog for almost an entire YEAR.....the reason for that was that I took on a new blog with my local MOPS group. However, my time with MOPS has (sadly) come to an end. I am back to blogging and am planning for this summer to highlight our summer as we did last year with our blog series "Pinteresting Summer." I have made a very detailed list for EVERY SINGLE DAY for our summer, using many pinterest ideas. I am going to blog about our time, telling you about the fun we have had, as well as giving some tips as to what would make pinterest ideas better, if they did or did not work etc. I am excited!

Our first blog post for summer is about HOW to make summer plans. Making a detailed plan for summer can be very overwhelming....I know. But, I think it is essential because without it, you will hear the phrase that every parents dread "MOMMY, I'M BORED!" This summer schedule will beat the boredom, keep you focused and allow you to do much more than if you did not have a plan! This is the perfect time to make your plan as well because many things actually begin in the first week of June.

So, without further ado, here is HOW to make a (successful, fun, detailed, cost effective and amazing) summer plan!

1. Plan an evening (or 2) without the kids to build your summer plan. I like to go to Starbucks or a nice bookstore so you can be alone, have internet access and sip on a super duper lime refresher :)

Arm yourself with: a notebook and pen, a large calendar, a laptop or some way to get on the internet.

2. For the months of May, June, July and at least the first half of August, write down all specific dates on the master calendar (ie. piano lessons, rehearsals, Tball games and doctors appointments). You want a MASTER calendar for everything so you can keep track of what happens when!

3. Now you will begin to add other activities, so let's begin by adding activities that are happening in your town. Begin by getting on your local library's website for their summer reading program info. They also sometimes offer some free kid days. Write down these special days, along with one day per week to go to the library, check out some new books and record your reading plan. My library offers one prize per week throughout the months of June and July!

4. Check out your city's kids activity offerings as well as festivals etc. and write those down.

5. Mark out all summer travel dates including your vacations or family visiting you.

6. Make at least 1 playdate each week for interaction with other kids. These can be formal or informal (ie. you can meet at a local museum, or can just have a couple kids over to your house for a water balloon fight!)

7. Plan all summer birthday parties (I have 3 kids each with summer birthdays, so I have more planning than most!)

8. Get on pinterest and begin to research some fun summer activities. I would recommend following me on pinterest because I have pinned some AMAZING sites of fun summer activities! Begin to fill in fun activities for days that do not have anything listed. **LEAVE ROOM for flexibility. If someone calls up and wants to invite you to go somewhere but you have a pinterest activity planned, feel free to leave that activity behind.This schedule is good to have, but you do not have to follow it with military accuracy!

**I have 1 child who still needs to nap, while the other 2 really just need some down-time every day. I like to plan a naptime activity each day for the 2 older children. Pinterest is a great place to find and plan those activities! Some days it can be as easy as reading a new book while other days they can do a science experiment.

9. Check out the local movie theaters. Many of them offer free to VERY low-priced movies (ie. $1 per ticket including popcorn) for kids movies in the summer time.

10. Check out "kidsbowlfree.com". This is a bit deceiving, though because you have to pay to rent shoes. For our family it costs about $15 to bowl. But, it is a good activity for hot summer days when you want to be in air conditioning for a few hours!

11. Check out info. on community pools for both lessons and open swim times.

Hopefully this will give you a good start in making your summer plans. It DOES take some time to do this, but with a Starbucks refresher in hand, and a few kid-free hours to yourself, it is a fun way to spend an evening....and a REALLY great way to have an amazingly fun and productive summer.

Let's click our glasses to our summers! I can't wait to share with you all the fun we are going to have!

Tip-Me Monday- Galaxy Dough...cleaning up spilled glitter!

I have never made play dough before. But, after our experience this morning, I am inclined to do it again....and again!

Because of lovely, lovely pinterest, I found THIS site that explains how to make "Galaxy Dough."

I did not have all of the ingredients, including the cream of tartar....so I added some cinnamon to make it smell good and some baking soda. I was just experimenting. Even with my substitutions, the play dough turned out wonderful and we spent a very fun 2 hours making the dough and then playing with it.

I have a craft bin underneath my bed.....and about a year ago, some glitter had broken open and now lines the inside of my bin. Well, the galaxy dough calls for glitter because it adds sparkle to the dough! Why had I never before thought of cleaning up the glitter with playdough? Every kid would love to add sparkles to playdough! So, a year's worth of glitter was cleaned up in 5 minutes!

*Side note: These priceless moments of doing something fun with my kids do not happen nearly enough in my house. I put aside my cleaning, laundry and grocery list making and devoted uninterrupted time to my boys this morning. On more than one occasion Tyler said "thank you, mom." He was thrilled the WHOLE time. I learned a lesson this morning that I should have learned before. My kids need play time. They need mommy to put aside work and to leave the house messy....for them. So today, my kitchen looks like this:

and my boys look like this:

It's worth the mess!

Tips and Tricks: Behavior Jars

We have been doing a new behavioral initiative in my house. Before I blogged about it, I wanted to make sure it would work for my family. Sometimes you hear a parenting trick and think what a great idea it is, but then realize it just would not be a good fit for your family. But, I have to give this one RAVE REVIEWS.

I am not kidding. THIS. IS. AMAAAAAAAZING.

These are our Good and Bad Behavior Jars.

The way it works is this. Both the good and bad jar started half-full of beads. When I catch the kids on really good behavior (sharing, being kind, saying please and thank you, taking initiative, obeying right away without complaint, helping out without being asked etc.), they get to take a bead from the bad side and put it in the good side. This also works vice versa. When they do something bad, they transfer a good bead to the bad side.

You have to have a goal to work towards. I told the kids that when the good jar was filled up, I would take them to the store and they could pick out ANYTHING they wanted (for $5 or less :) For my kids, this was HUGE! I don't know that I have ever just gone to the store and allowed them to pick out a toy for themselves for no reason! (I have to admit, I was a bit concerned at first that the kids would fill up the bad jar, but figured we would cross that bridge when I came to it!)

At first, it was seriously 1 step forward and 3 steps back. But then, they really started to want to earn beads. This began working for both my 7 year old AND my 3 year old! You frequently heard such phrases in our house such as:

"Be careful, you don't want to lose a bead!" or "I think if you can do this without arguing you can earn 2 beads!" I would catch Ellie helping Tyler make a good decision so he wouldn't lose a bead! This also helped tremendously when we went out to a store, the post office or the library. "IF you are very well behaved in the store, you will each earn a bead!"

Within 2 weeks, the good jar was full and the bad jar totally empty! (I have put more beads in it so it stretches out a bit farther this next time!)

Last night the kids and I went to the store to claim their prizes. My goodness those children were EXCITED. They knew that they earned it.....and you could tell! (Welcome to the world of Chuggington and Squinkies :)

I have thought one thing about this system: Is this really changing their hearts and attitudes or are they practicing good behavior to earn a prize? Is this bribery?

Largely, they are doing it to earn a prize and in a sense it is bribery to do good deeds. HOWEVER, there is something to be said for:

1. practicing good behavior and attitudes......."Practice Makes Progress!"

2. catching kids doing GOOD things instead of running all over them all the time for bad things

3. talking with them about how they are making Jesus and Mom and Dad very happy when they do nice things for themselves and each other

This has also done a great work for me.

1. This has made my life easier

2. I do not yell as much. (I have often struggled with raising my voice.....my entire life)

3. I look for ways to catch the kids doing good. I begin encouraging them in their very good behavior. I think I was missing that before!

To change things up a bit, our next goal is......CHUCK E. CHEESE :) Oh my, are the kids motivated :)

Try it out. I simply can't believe how wonderful this has been to my home!