Family Friday- Trenton's Brain

I have not done a single post this week......but after this post you will know why. This week was fraught with lots of emotional highs and lows. I daresay that any mom of a child with a shunt will know what I am talking about. For the most part, everything is pretty easy (now) with Trenton. But then when it is bad, it can be VERY bad.

But I am THRILLED beyond THRILLED to write this post.......as a praise to the miracles that God has performed in my son. I have written many posts about the miracle of my 3rd born. Let's just add this to the list. There are more miracles than I can count with him.....and I am talking true, blow-you-out-of-the-water miracles. God has chosen my son, my precious love to be a light of His miraculous glory......for whatever reason that is. I am in awe of what God does for our family. We do not deserve His grace. But, again and again, God has restored my son back to life and health. I do not understand it. I am humbled. I am graced.

IN a nutshell, for those of you who are new to my blog or are new friends, here is the story of Trenton.

I was told I would never have any more children.......so when I sent this picture to my parents announcing our news, it was met with silence. It was met with confusion. It still makes me cry to think of this first miracle:

All was well. I reached 28 weeks with virtually no problems. The morning I gave birth to him, I had Greg snap a picture of me. Little did I know that later that afternoon my son would be born, in an incubator, clinging to life.

For the first 3 days, life went by in a blur for me. I was recovering from a very horrible C-section. It was very complicated with my scar tissue. The cut my bladder in half. It was very very traumatic. I got to see my baby but not even really touch him as they explained his skin was like a blister.

Then on day 4 we got nearly the worst possible news. Trenton's brain was bleeding. Through ultrasounds through his soft spot, they determined that it was a grade 4 bleed. There are only 4 grades. Trenton's brain bleed was the highest it could be. Grade 4 means that blood actually begins seeping into the brain tissue. It blocked his ventricles so they could not drain and he developed Hydrocephalus. Grade 4 means babies die. Grade 4 means babies become vegetables. Grade 4 means a 90% chance of Cerebral Palsey if they survive at all. Grade 4 means they will likely be blind, not walk or talk, have little quality of life. Grade 4 is the worst it can be.

When Trenton was about 3 weeks old he had his first brain surgery. They put a tube through his soft spot that drained into a bag. They were externally draining the spinal fluid from his brain, something that everyone does on their own, naturally. I have to tell you that I was pretty horrified at the bag of spinal fluid that hung by his tiny incubator.

It was after this surgery that Trenton contracted an almost deadly sepsis infection from an infection in his PIC line. I said goodbye that night thinking he would be held by heavens angels that night.

But, Trenton survived.

Trenton overcame that infection and about 3-4 weeks later he needed the more serious surgery to put a permanent shunt in his brain. This would drain the spinal fluid for him. This surgery was a success and now all he needed to do was grow larger, maintain his body temperature, and learn to swallow and eat on his own! I am not going to lie. This shunt was ugly. It was hard for me to look at.....so hard, in fact, that I hardly took any pictures of it. I kept a hat on his head or took pictures of his with it covered up. I even cropped it out. It was so hard to see, yet at the same time, it kept my baby alive.

Then I began learning what it was going to be like to have a child with a shunt. I learned the shunt malfunction signs. Malfunction means a rushed trip to the ER and more surgery. Shunt malfunction is very serious. 60% of shunts fail within the first year. How was I to do this? How could I parent this baby? Why did God think I could handle this?

***

So this week, my Trenton began vomiting.....one of the shunt malfunction signs. It is also a sign of a stomach virus. How am I to tell the difference?

As wisdom of the Lord and He will give it.......but I felt no wisdom. I felt despair. I felt lost. I felt like my son's life could be in the balance and I could make the wrong choice.

It turns out that it was a stomach virus......but in those hours as his fever grew and his vomiting continued, I did not know what to do. I did not how to even hardly remain calm.

Tuesday Trenton had a regularly scheduled MRI to check the size of his ventricles. The weight of the world was lifted from my shoulders when the neurosurgeon's nurse came in and said "who is ready for some good news?" Apparently, Trenton shunt is working better than EVER!

Yes, Trenton's brain scan is on my frig. It is all over facebook. It is an answer to our many prayers. It will soon be framed. I am not kidding. This picture represents such joy to me.....such grace.......such a miracle.

By the way, as you all know, Trenton began walking 2 weeks before Christmas. He just got released from the School for the Blind and Visually Impaired. He has no signs of CP. He is only 3 months delayed in almost all areas because of him being born early. There is almost nothing wrong with my son.

I do not deserve this. All I can say is "Thank You" to God for giving me these many gifts. Though at moments it seems too much to bear, I can see how God has worked true miracles in my son's and my life.

By the way, that shunt that I could barely look at.......is almost completely imperceptible. That is so minor it should not matter but as a mom, it did matter to me. Just another small encouragement :)