Proverbs 31: Day 5- Thank You

"Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive."

To my beautiful, chocolate-eyed, crazy, energetic, sensitive, amazing sandwich kid,

Love bloomed in my heart for my children when I carried my first baby in my womb. I had a love so alive, so real, so strong for my daughter, it was hard to imagine that I would or COULD ever love another child so deeply.

When we first thought about adopting a child, my biggest fear was that I could not possibly love another woman's child....a child who had not grown in my womb as my daughter had done.....that I had not protected and felt kick and sang goodnight to for nine months. How was that possible? But, we proceeded with the adoption because I knew that God had chosen a special child just for us.

When we first picked you up at the hospital and brought you home, you were so tiny.....and not yet mine. I did not know if you would be mine or not and that was so very hard. But, I made the conscious decision that in spite of the hurt that might happen in my life in losing you, I was going to throw myself into being your mom....and I loved you!

I could only dream of the day that you would be mine.....honest and truly. Finally, when you were about 6 months old, the courts gained permanent custody. You became "Tyler" and I bought you the first present that I saw in the store. When it made me cry, I knew you had to have it!

You became officially ours....in our forever family......2 weeks before you turned 1. When the judge banged his mallet and pronounced you a part of our family, the joy that flooded my soul was like something I have never before experienced.

At that very moment, my heart was full to bursting with love and it came alive like it had never done before. I experienced a love in my heart for you, my son, that did not equal anything I could ever had imagined. My heart now came alive with a new love.....a love so complete I can not even express it on paper. You were really and truly mine. You were the son of my heart even though you had never been in my womb! No one will EVER understand this as much as they way want to, unless they have experienced adoption for themselves!

I was finally able to love you with abandon.....love you knowing that no one could EVER take you away from me ever again! I could finally love you without fear. That made that love complete.....not that the love did not exist before, but now it could exist without fear of loss.

I am really thanking GOD for giving me this gift in you, my Tyler. My life would not be complete without you. You are my little boy forever and I am grateful every day for that! God gave me a new love and all my fears vanished when you came into my life.